The Light of Christ

    Recently, the theme of Light has been coming up a lot in my prayer. It’s a natural advent theme as we reflect on the Incarnation, the moment Divine Light took flesh. During this season, we are invited to allow the Light of Christ to penetrate our hearts and lives in a new way. 

"I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness,
but will have the light of life." - John 8:14-15

    The convent here in St. Louis is still under construction, but (thanks be to God!) our chapel is pretty much finished. Last week, we had two new stained glass windows installed and I have been mesmerized with them. The windows themselves are nothing too striking; they are rather plain - one is the image of a chalice with grapes around it, and the other is a host surrounded by stalks of wheat. I love the simplicity of them, and I have been captivated by the play of light in our new space: The warmth of the light as it passes through the windows, the reflections it creates on the walls, and its movement over time. I can remember, as a kid, lying in the patches of light created in our living room as the afternoon sun set in through the front windows of the house. I would bring a book with me, and as the light moved I would scooch over accordingly. I remember those as some of the most calm, tranquil moments of my childhood - but, I guess that’s to be expected in a homeschooling family of 5 kids! This peacefulness I experienced as a child is the same feeling I often get in front of the tabernacle. No small coincidence; for, in an immensely truer sense, it is Light that dwells and emanates from that space. Our founder, Blessed James Alberione, speaks about this in his own experience of the spiritual life: “Here was a half-blind man being guided. With the passing of time, light came little by little so that progress could be made. God is the light.” 

"From the Tabernacle, everything; without the
Tabernacle, nothing." -Blessed James Alberione

    In recent days, it has been consoling for me to read this. Alberione’s humility and recognition of his need for Christ, the light, is so beautiful. It can be easy for me to become discouraged in the little progress I make, or the times I fall back, but it is consoling to remember that real progress is made little by little. We cannot understand everything at once, but the Lord enlightens us throughout our journey. Mary said yes to becoming the mother of our Savior, but she did not fully understand what that meant; in fact, she listened to the word of God and “pondered (it) in her heart” (Luke 2:19). She allowed the Lord to slowly reveal His plan to her, and renewed her yes throughout the journey. As I journey through this Advent season, I pray that I can continue saying yes to the Lord’s plan for me, even when things are not totally clear to me. Last Sunday - Gaudete Sunday - I was particularly struck by the words of St. Paul in the second reading. He writes to the Thessalonians, “The one who calls you is faithful, and he will accomplish it” (1 Thess 5:24). I take great heart in knowing that God, in his steadfast love, will accomplish the work he has begun in me, enlightening my path day by day. 

    So, as I sit before the Blessed Sacrament everyday, basking in the Divine Light and watching the sunlight pass through our stained glass windows, I recall that even though the reflection of the glass onto the wall is blurry, it is truly beautiful. Likewise, our messiness can be beautiful when we allow Christ to shine through it. This Christmas I will be exclaiming with Isaiah (and singing with The Roches), “The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light. Upon those who dwelt in the land of gloom a light has shone...For a child is born to us, a son is given us; upon his shoulder dominion rests. They name him Wonder-Counselor, God-Hero, Father-Forever, Prince of Peace” (Isaiah 9:1,5). May the light of Christ rest upon each of us this Christmas, as we embrace the true joy of our salvation. 

"And night shall be no more; they will need no light of lamps
or the sun, for the Lord God will be their light." - Rev 22:5

First Thoughts

    Five days before I entered as a postulant in St. Louis, one of my older sisters, Emma, got married. It was the first wedding in the family, and it was a beautiful day. I was so blessed to end my time with my family celebrating a joyous occasion. I had been away from home, living and working in New Jersey, so I truly relished the 2 weeks I had in California with family and friends. I was maid of honor so, as part of my duties, I gave a toast at the reception. Recently, I realized that my speech was meant as much for this new couple, entering the honeymoon stage of their marriage, as it war for me, entering a new chapter in my life and discernment process. 

      I wish I just had a digital copy of the toast to share with you - that would be so much easier, - but I guess I’ll try to remember it and relay to you the important parts. One of the readings at the wedding ceremony was the somewhat trite passage from Corinthians 13 on love. St. Paul’s treatise on love is absolutely beautiful and poignant, but tends to be overused to the point that I think most people have grown deaf ears to its true beauty and sense. We all have these verses memorized to some degree: “Love is patient. Love is kind...Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” This sounds so warm and quaint, but what I highlighted in my toast was that St. Paul never says love is easy. In fact, living in love is a difficult thing; it takes work and perseverance. Love is not just a happy feeling that comes over us and stays with us for eternity. True love calls us out of ourselves; it means sacrificing our selfish desires for the good of another. It is, indeed, strikingly beautiful but is certainly not all rainbows and butterflies. 

My sister and me at her wedding

    Since arriving in St. Louis two months ago, I have often thought back to my toast and how poignant those words, meant for the newly married couple, are in my own life. Love is not easy and in fact, it requires constant attention to keep fortifying, but it is worth chasing after. Love brought me here; it was love I was chasing when I applied to join the Daughters of St. Paul. Life here is not always easy. I am constantly challenged to let go of my selfish desires and be purified by Love. 

My brother in law and sister's reactions to my toast. Killed it! ;) 

     I am not a morning person, but my alarm continues to beckon me out of bed at 6 am everyday - yes, even Saturday. Living in community with such beautiful, faith-filled women is such a joy, but it also takes sacrifice to communicate well with one another and make sure everyone’s needs are being met. Giving up much of my financial freedom and the freedom to make my own schedule has challenged me. I can no longer purchase things on my credit card and then babysit on the weekends to pay it off. It can be frustrating at times, but at the bottom of everything, I am filled with peace and exceedingly joyful. Why? Because Love has followed me here. I was called by love to give up the life I was previously pursuing and come here, and I have not been disappointed. The Lord blesses our sacrifices, big and small, and loves us immensely through them. So, the next time I want to grumble about the latest thing I have to give up, I will try to remember these words spoken by Pope Francis: “Difficulties and trials are part of the path that leads to God’s glory, just as they were for Jesus, who was glorified on the cross; we will always encounter them in life! Do not be discouraged!” (4/28/13- Homily during Confirmation Mass at St. Peter’s). And for all those times that I do grumble, I thank God for his patience, his kindness, and his faithfulness in loving me through it all. 

The St. Louis community on the day I entered. 

Media Nuns go to the National Catholic Youth Conference!

Hello, again everyone.

We have been busy over the past couple of months, and thought we'd share a little of what we've been up to. 

A major event that took up quite a bit of our time was preparing to attend the National Catholic Youth Conference (NCYC) in Indianapolis. Two of us (Julie and Danielle), along with Sr. Rebecca and Sr. Laura got to attend as vocational witnesses. We were so excited for this opportunity, that we made a video so that people would know that we were coming!

We had a ton of fun making it, as you can probably tell. We took those "Special" stickers with us, along with some other goodies, and got involved in the NCYC tradition of "trading" items.

Another fun project we did in preparation for the convention was to create some amazingly awesome cardboard cutouts. Danielle and Putri got Sr. Laura and Sr. Rebecca (and a statue of St. Paul) to pose for some photos. After a few hours of editing, some confusion at the print shop, and a case of X-Acto knife blades, we finally had our finished product:

Putri and Julie try out the new cutouts.

Everyone wants to hang out with St. Paul!

Julie peers over the cardboard
in the back seat of the van.

Then, it was time to head out. Of course, we didn't quite realize how much of the car these things would take up, so conversation in the backseat was a little...strained. 

It didn't take too long, though, and we were there!

It was a blast, hanging out with 23,000 excited teenagers, 13 bishops, over 300 priests, and who-knows-how-many seminarians, nuns and religious brothers.


Sr. Rebecca and Sr. Laura got to spend time with young people discussing discernment and religious life, and Julie and Danielle got to spend time passing out Special stickers, checking out the booths, and even answering questions on a Q&A panel for young girls open to religious life.

Danielle, Sr. Laura, Julie, Sr. Rose, and Sr. Rebecca
Srs Laura and Rebecca are wearing the Vocations Team shirts.

We ran into Sr. Rose, who was there to give a couple of workshops on Jesus on the Silver Screen. Several kids came to find us afterward and told us how awesome her presentation was. Yay, Sr. Rose!










When we weren't assigned a place to be, we took our cardboard cut outs to a busy place in the hall, and let people go nuts. It was so much fun to see people's reactions. Some of our favorite responses were from parents: as one girl posed in the tall stand-up with the tech symbols and Media Nuns hashtag on it, her mom exclaimed, "Oh, look! My girl's a Media Nun! I'm so proud!" Ha!

While we were there, some of our peeps back home were doing long-distance support work:

And we may have spent some time with a VIP.

In all, it was a blessed, fun, awesome, and exhausting experience! Have you ever been to NCYC or a similar convention? What was your favorite part?

The Changing of the Guard

Well, hello there! It's been an inexcusably long time since this blog was updated. But, perhaps you'll excuse us, anyway. See, the old postulants have moved on to the novitiate, and there are are now three of us brand-new baby postulants! We got here about 6 weeks ago, and began our postulancy on September 8th.  It might be a little while before we really get to introduce ourselves, but we wanted to say hello, and to ask for your prayers as we embark on this awesome Pauline Adventure, as well as your prayers for the new novices, SISTER Chelsea and SISTER Carly, as they press onward in their vocations.

For now, here are a few photos. Love and prayers! God bless you all!

Danielle, Julie, Putri, and Sr. Rebecca on September 8th,
the day we officially entered Postulancy!

On the day we entered, we were blessed to visit the
Cathedral Basillica in St. Louis for Mass.

Danielle, Putri, and Julie with the Queen of Apostles.

Ask the Postulants... In Mexico!

Ask the Postulants Episode 6

Our Apologies... and what we've been up to!

Hello! Yes, we ARE alive! :)
Apologies for not updating our blog or youtube channel in the last TWO MONTHS! (Where has the time gone?)
...but seriously, we DO have good excuses!
In the last two months we've:

...found out that we're going to Mexico for the month of August for an immersion course in Spanish! (Be sure to pray for us!)

...Bishop Rice came and gave a talk in our newly renovated conference center! 

...Consecrated ourselves to Jesus through Mary with a group that met here in our BookCenter using the book 33 Days to Morning Glory. Our consecration Mass was celebrated by Bishop Herman on the feast of the Visitation. It was such a beautiful evening seeing over 40 people consecrate themselves to Jesus through Mary! After Mass we had those same 40 people plus the Bishop celebrating with a reception afterwards when the tornado sirens went off! Praise God, everyone eventually got home safe!

...We took (AND PASSED!) our finals for the classes we were taking!


... JUST got back from Covecrest LifeTeen Summer Camp! What a BEAUTIFUL experience! There are some pretty epic pictures on LifeTeen's Facebook Page. (We were on "Summer Camp 2013 Week 2- Covecrest Tiger") It was such a privilege and a blessing to be able to journey with 250 high school students for a week.

Fearless! 

Carly gave a beautiful talk on prayer!

The 40ft waterfall at the camp!

We were on the belay team for
the high ropes course! 

.....AND WE FOUND OUT THAT WE WERE ACCEPTED INTO THE NOVITIATE! So that means we will move to Boston (Our provincial motherhouse) this fall and begin Novitiate in October!

...and in a little over a week we're headed off to Arizona for Sr. Maria Kim's perpetual profession!

Well, that's a glimpse of our life at the moment! 

Keep praying for us and know that we are praying for you! 

Ask the Postulants Episode 5

All creation stops in anticipation...

The Annunciation is probably my most favorite Marian Feast Day! 

This morning on reflecting on the Gospel for today (Luke 1:26-38). As I prayed through meditation, I wasn't struck so much by a word or phrase, but rather by a space.
In your missal, it will read "...for nothing is impossible with God." Mary said, "Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord..."
There. Did you catch it? That space between Gabriel's question and Mary's response THAT was the epicenter of my meditation today. That one stroke of the keyboard holds the entire weight of the universe. Once Gabriel poses the question, all of creation holds it's breath, everything stops in anticipation of this young woman's response to this earth-shattering question. No matter what Mary's response, it will change everything forever.

It is in THIS moment, this beautiful, silent, grace-filled moment that the most epic "yes" ever spoken was formed.
This space, this moment, this breath, is the precursor to the moment when our humanity was forever changed.

"Holy Mary, whose supernatural grandeur hung on a simple fiat, pray for us sinners who are always exposed, between healing and relapse, to the intoxication of words. Protect our lips from useless exaggeration. Make our voices, reduced to essentials, always begin from the realms of mystery and bringing forth the perfume of silence. Turn us, like you, into the sacrament of transparency. Help us, finally, so that in the brevity of a "yes" spoken to God, we might throw ourselves into the boundless sea of His love." 
(Prayer from "Mary: Human and Holy" by Bishop Antonio Bello) 


-Chelsea 

Holy Week Vocation Retreat

Ladies, Looking for a Holy Week Retreat? 
Come n Visit The Daughters of Saint Paul in Boston Mass -- this was one of my most grace-filled retreats I've attended. Holy week is HOLY after all ;)
:) 

Ask the Postulants Episode 4

Ask the Postulants Episode 3

Ask the Postulants Episode TWO!

Ask the Postulants Episode 1

We made a video!
Enjoy!

Thanks for saying Yes!

     Last week Carly, Chelsea and I went to see The Hobbit, an Unexpected Journey.

I read the book about ten years ago, so I had forgotten many of the details of the story. Watching it come alive on the screen was really amazing.

     One of the themes in the Lord of the Rings trilogy that has always appealed to me is the theme of being chosen. In the LOR, so many are chosen to carry out tasks that they would have preferred not to have been chosen for. They feel too weak, too insignificant... but they choose to say "yes." All those "yesses" together conquer evil in their world.

     The same theme is running through the Hobbit too--being chosen and responding to the call. It was a great movie to see during Advent...

     Mary's yes to the Angel brought a new hope to the world. This young girl, so insignificant, said a word that set off a chain of events that has essentially changed each of our lives and has called each of us to say our "yes" in spite of our weakness or insignificance.

     You and I are chosen. At times the path we are called to walk is not easy or desired. It could be quite unexpected or even dreaded. When we say yes for the sake of our brothers and sisters--for the sake of Christ, we are changed and our yes changes others.

     Where would the Dwarfs have been without Bilbo the Burglar? Imagine if he hadn't said yes. (well, there would not have been a great book to read or an amazing movie to watch--but you know what I mean.) Reflecting on this has helped me to come to a greater belief that my yes every day has consequences far beyond what I can see. Why does God choose me and you to carry on His work? It's a mystery. But God has reasons and there is a purpose far greater than we can see.

Sr. Rebecca Marie

Pretty in Pink

It's that one time of year where the church puts on her best and brightest pink pizazz!

Honestly growing up I LOVED "pink" Sunday for three reasons:

1. Christmas was soo close you could taste it! (or better see it--I love being catholic!)

2. I could freely share and promote my disgust for the color pink.

3. It was the one Sunday I could lovingly tease my pastor for sporting a "manly" pink.

Seriously, it is tradition to this day in my family to talk about in the car on the way to mass how we were going to break it to Father that he was wearing pink... And he loved the attention. Every year Padre would grin and say in his accent right out of Spain "it's Rrrose."

I guess, looking back now, it was kinda bonding. He hated pink. I hated pink. He loved the third sunday of Advent. I loved the third sunday of Advent.

In college I discovered the church's great word for this week of Advent. "Gaudete."

Personal Translation: week that's " a little gaudy." And the third week of Advent rightly is a gaudy pink! The joy of the coming of the Incarnation should be at a melting point. The church can't hold it in any longer. Like Buddy in the film "Elf" she cries out in public " I'm in love! I'm in love and I don't care who knows it!"

If you haven't seen Elf it looks something like this:

Here  and particularly Here

The church bursts with joy and blushes pink because Christ the redeemer of us all draws in close.

So growing in grace and wisdom, pink has grown on me a bit. Especially as a color of great joy. The real Latin translation of "Gaudete" is "Rejoice!" Today, Saint Paul calls for a two fold call to joy.

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!"

Phillipians 4:4

So, if you haven't already let your Parish Priest know how great he looked in Pink this Gaudete Sunday. You should. Really. He is a visible sign of Church's overflowing joy in the Birth of her Savior.

 

On a different note...

Father had a great reflection in His Homily today in the wake of Friday's tragedy:

Joy is not the absence of grief or pain or tears in the wake of Sandy Hook. The beatitudes teach us, "blessed (or Happy in some translations) are those who grieve".

We should learn to be good grievers...Because even in the midst of sorrow we should rejoice so that we can allow Christ's peace to fill up our hearts and minds. It is our faith in Christ's goodness that we can know with great certainty that in Heaven every tear will be wiped away and every moment of sadness will be turned to great joy.

~Postulant Carly

Even a year later...

“And also with… your spirit?” oops….

Yes, even a year later I still catch myself saying the “old” Mass responses… and Yes, I do realize I’ve been to Mass about 368 times since it’s been changed (AT LEAST).  But just recently I’ve been having trouble with one response in particular.

It’s the phrase directly after we say the Lamb of God when the priest elevates Jesus in the chalice and the host.

We used to say, “Lord I am not worthy to receive You, but only say the word and I shall be healed.”

Now we say, “Lord I am not worthy that You should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed.”

Last year, when I found out that we were changing that phrase, I was devastated. My whole life I had said that prayer and I felt very attached to it. Throughout my life I had never left the Church, but as a teenager I definitely went through a period of doubt and skepticism of the Church and especially the Eucharist. However, It was THIS phrase that played a major role in my mini-conversion and journey back to a great love of the Church and an intense love for Jesus in the Eucharist.

So when I heard that that the phrase was being changed, every fiber of my being revolted. The poor Sister who told me that phrase was being changed… I was not a happy camper. She found that out right away.

The first time I actually heard the new response I thought to myself, “Why the heck are we talking about roofs in the middle of Mass??” I remember complaining to Jesus about all the reasons why I didn’t like this new response: It was weird that we were talking about roofs…I thought it sounded awkward…I liked the word “receive” and now it wasn’t there…It didn’t “draw me into the moment”…blah, blah, blah…

In the midst of my soliloquy of complaints I had the revelation that no matter how much I complained, the phrase wasn’t going to magically change AND (most importantly) if I truly believed that the Catholic Church was founded by Christ and that the Pope, who is the head of the church, is a successor of Peter and Peter was chosen by Jesus Himself, THEN I had better listen to what the Church had to say because Christ speaks through His Church.

Needless to say, once I accepted this, I’ve found that the words “aren’t so bad”.

One day at Mass I was praying with this phrase and I was deeply struck by the beginning, “Lord, I am not worthy that You should enter under my roof…” As I said these words in unison with the rest of the congregation, I heard them in a new light.

I thought about how I am a human person, both body and soul, made in the image and likeness of God. Therefore, I am a temple of the Holy Spirit. I am a temple. So as I say this response, I am really inviting the Lord into my temple.

I then reflected on how often I’ve “dirtied the temple” by my sin. This is when I was hit with the power of the second part of this phrase, “…but only say the word and my soul shall be healed.” By one word Jesus can restore the “cleanliness” and original beauty of my soul. There is so much more to it but, as Catholics, we believe that through the power of the Sacrament of Confession, our souls are restored to their full beauty. This is why it is so  important to go to confession. We ARE NOT worthy to receive this incredible and wonderful gift of sacrifice, but when we are healed, when we are restored to worthiness through confession, we ARE able to worthily partake of this beautiful sacrifice. Jesus loves us so much that He wants nothing more than to be intimately close to us. Who are we to deny Him that closeness? Let us go to confession often so as to prepare our “temple” to receive the Body and Blood of our Beloved Jesus! 

5 Nuns walk into a Bar

...and two Postulants. We may have turned some heads this month as we walked into Kirkwood Brewery. Admittedly we felt like the beginning of a bad joke.  So what were we doing in a bar at 7 o'clock at night? The Nuns and the Posts attended St.Louis Young Adult Ministry's Theology On Tap. TOT is a program of lectures that has took off in numerous catholic dioceses across the country.

                     

If you have never heard of Theology on Tap (TOT) check out the diocese near you.
Quick TOT History Lesson (from my friend wiki):

The series was cofounded by Father John Cusick, a resident of Old St. Patrick's Parish, and director of the archdiocese's Young Adult Minister and Father Jack Wall in June 1981 in Arlington Heights, Illinois, as the result of comments made by a recent college graduate who was "concerned about his personal identity and finding meaning in life."^[1] 

The lectures, which are often given by noted spiritual leaders and religious academics, address current topics in religion and theology, and are notable and sometimes controversial for their venue, which is normally a bar or restaurant. 

Since its inception, the program has spread to more than 180 parishes and dioceses and at least six other countries, including Canada,Italy, Taiwan, the Philippines, Ireland, Australia and Hong Kong.^[4]

Talk about meeting the people where they are! The diocese rented a large room (the whole left half of the restaurant/bar) and it was filled to the gills with young adults (like over 100) who came to socialize and hear a lecture on the faith.

This past month the talk was given by Daughter of Saint Paul, Sister Helena Burns. She nailed an awesome talk on Theology of the Body and finding God in the media.  If you don't already read her blog it's Here.

She is in good company. Other TOT speakers have included Archbishop Donald Wuerl, Cardinal Rigali, Cardinal Patrick O'Malley, Cardinal George Pell and more!


Here's the FB info on TOT for Saint Louie:
http://www.facebook.com/totSTL